When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
