Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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