i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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