apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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