90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
