The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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