Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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