I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
There's always time for handjobs
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
