If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
