I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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