I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
