their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I wanna passion pit in your ass
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
