There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Those nachos came to me in a dream
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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