I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
