Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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