Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
God, you're like boner-b-gone
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Help me help you realize you are a moron
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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