We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
