His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Randomize
