the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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