i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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