ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
