Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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