one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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