I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i think i have two assholes
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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