They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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