somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
