i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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