he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Green mimosas i think yes
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
This baby is an asshole
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize