Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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