dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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