But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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