i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Actions speak louder than pants.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
