We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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