I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
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