Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
