Those balls look pretty dangerous.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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