so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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