He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
My breasts were aching with rage.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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