i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
