it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
