So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
