Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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