whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
sex in a hospital.. check
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
