she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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