Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
