you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
