Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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