im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
North Korea, Best Korea!
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
