Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
