sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I have fence marks all over my body
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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