Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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